The popular series, “A Dad’s Perspective“ is back! Mommy Masters welcomes Chris Cannon, Bestselling Author and creator of The Manhood Model™, who shares his perspective about Father’s Day and failure. He also gives us an inside glimpse into the minds of the many men he has coached.
Am I enough, do I have enough, did I do enough, did I give them enough, do they see me as enough, was that the right way, did I mess up, are all questions that fathers face daily.
These questions are so deadly because the greatest FEAR of all men is failure and not knowing if you’ve failed or not, haunts men more than big monsters chasing 3yr olds in dreams they can’t wake up from!
Regardless to what a man does, in the back of his mind, he’s considering was it enough, because he never wants to be identified as failing at something, especially when it comes to his family.
This is the key reason why some men just check out, abandon their families, and maintain only a shallow relationship to ensure, he’s not in a position or situation that might cause him to fail in his role as father, husband, leader, protector, and provider.
However you look at it, men do not want to fail at being a father or let their families down. Their fear of failure runs deeper than their ability to communicate its effects on their performance as a father!
Although fathers make mistakes, constantly abandon their children, neglect their wives, ignore their responsibilities, and invest in getting better in areas outside of their home, their FEAR exceeds the logical things that everyone clearly sees that they should be doing.
What outsiders forget is that fear exceeds logic, disappointing children, the complaints of a spouse, and their negative head talk that comes from ignoring their family responsibilities!
From a personal perspective, I am a father. Yes, there are things that I fear failing at as a dad. One of the biggest fears is, have I prepared them enough for future situations and challenges that will arise, based on living in an ever-evolving flawed and compromising world?
I also have fears regarding the physical safety of my children. When we’re together as a family, I’m confident that I can protect them from harm, but when they are away from me, certain things are out of my control, which keeps me in a continual state of evaluating.
I will say, I’m not an overly protective parent who lives in a constant state of paranoia. I keep things in their proper perspective, but I do my best to put my children in the best possible situation to succeed and stay safe.
What does this all have to do with Father’s Day? EVERYTHING! Father’s Day is a day filled with abundant pleasure or excruciating pain. It’s a day when the people who matter most provide a small glimpse of a mirror’s reflection on how well you’ve done as a father.
These insights could consist of extravagant gifts, heartfelt words, and precious time spent communicating their love that ultimately results in tears of joy.
Father’s Day is also a time of torment! It’s a time when those whose words pierce the most, express their disappointment, dislike, anger, resentment, and reveal flaws you didn’t even know existed as a father, by what they do, say, don’t say and don’t do.
With the fear of failure being at the top of a man’s list, Father’s Day becomes something that he fears rather than something he looks forward to because his past actions are prison time he has to serve every year for hurting those in his life, who won’t allow him to forget it.
Every man wants to be a good father and desires to be appreciated on Father’s Day, but men some don’t know how to be good fathers and feel undeserving of the very appreciation they desire, which causes internal conflict that they constantly battle within themselves.
The courage to try again and potentially fail is the key to opening the door for fathers being appreciated, celebrated, and feeling deserving of positive acknowledgement on Father’s Day and every day!
Chris Cannon, Bestselling Author and creator of The Manhood Model™, dedicates his life to assuring the success of men and others who are impacted by their choices. His mission is to build confidence, provide clarity, while equipping, and empowering men to live their purpose. ManhoodModel.com/coaching, is one of his methods of accomplishing this mission…
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