Every mom loves a massage, am I right? Just the idea of relaxation for 60 minutes without the kids screaming, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy” is blissful. All of your anxieties, stress and tension will soon be melting away and you will replace your routine thoughts with emptiness.

Okay, wake up people. I don’t know about you but when have you, as a mom, as a woman, ever been able to truly block it all out? Not this mama!

Enter your masseuse and open the flood gates with 20 thoughts you will most likely have during your massage:

1) “Here we go…oh yeah…that’ll work.”

2) “OW…that really hurts…do I tell her?”

3) “What should I make for dinner?”

4) “Stop it, stop thinking…relax.”

5) “I cannot breathe in this doughnut thing.”

6) “Wait…did she already do my feet…crap, I missed it.”

7) “Is that her elbow?”

8) “I hope she does my head!”

9) “I wonder if anyone ever passed gas while on her table.”

10) “She probably hates me for not shaving my legs”

11) “I have to go to the bathroom SO badly!”

12) “Crap, I forgot to put the laundry in the dryer”

13) “I wonder what the kids are doing at school?”

14) “No kid thoughts…no kid thoughts…for this hour, I don’t have kids.”

15) “Mmm…is that eucalyptus?”

16) “I think we are almost done…NOOO”

17) “More please…I promise not to think”

18) “Worst itch ever on my nose…do I move and scratch it?”

19) “Okay, relax time over…I got places to be, people to see and things to do…is it almost over?”

20) “Does anyone else have these thoughts?”

Please share YOUR massage thoughts with Mommy Masters on Facebook!

TOGETHER WE CAN MASTER MOTHERHOOD™…and shutting off our brain!

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